Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Own Worst Enemy

Good morning.

A sequoia lived for 400 years. It lived through 400 winters, 400 springs, 400 summers, and 400 autumns. Each season bombarded the great sequoia with rain, wind, lightning, heat, deathly cold, storms of every flavor. For 400 summers, it grew, and for each one of 400 winters, it slowed to almost death. Every spring, though, 400 times, it reawakened, to be clobbered again by the elements of nature. What finally killed the mighty tree? Beetles ate it from the inside.

Like the 400-year-old sequoia, Man can handle ANYTHING the external world hurls at him, but his vital weakness lies within himself.

My good friend Dana Lisenbee told me this parable today, because I needed desperately to hear it. The last few weeks have been, for me, a downward spiral into my own self-loathing. I thought I had licked it; I was mistaken.

Now, I am consciously using my mind to be aware of what it is doing to itself, and to me, as a whole person. I'm using EFT whenever I feel negativity creeping into my emotional matrix. The only way to get positive is to feel your way there. EFT helps transmute the negative feeling into something positive. Negative emotion becomes trapped in the body; by tapping on certain acupressure meridian points, and feeling the emotion fully, the body can literally let go of the trapped emotion and you can move on from there. It's a technique I've known about, and used a little, but I'm beginning at last to understand just how powerful it can be. (learn more about it:

Another cool thing happened today: I saw the movie Revolver (2005), with Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Andre Benjamin, and Vincent Pastore, written and directed by Guy Ritchie, produced by Luc Besson. It was exactly the film I needed to see today. It's ostensibly about chess and con games, but it's really all about the ego. But it goes roundabout the subject for 104 minutes of total mind-warping, violent confusion. I highly recommend it. You'll definitely have to see it at least twice.

The ego feeds--thrives, even--on negative emotion; in fact, it may even be fairly accurate to say that the trapped negativity is an ingredient or component of the ego itself. The ego is chaos incarnate, a constant adversary of the True Self. Its greatest trick is convincing you that it IS you. The ego is a shadow that thinks it is the light, wants to be the light so badly it hurts, but it can never be. It then uses the pain, makes you feel worthless, hopeless, helpless, until the light is almost invisible, and all seems to be the shadow. But there can be no shadow without light. You are the light; the shadow that is ego is not who you are. The pain is not who you are; you are Unselfish Love, which is the Source of All Light.

Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him. I'm feeling better today; the Force will guide me. All I can do is feel Better Now. Small moves. I can do it. I am worthy, and I do deserve it.

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