Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

Good morning!

The ancient Hawaiian tradition of Ho'oponopono, especially as reimagined by Ihaleakala Hew Len and publicized by Joe Vitale, is an exercise in Total Responsibility. In other words, the practitioner takes ultimate responsibility for every single thing that happens in his life, whether it is perceived to be caused by him or by an outside circumstance. The idea here is, if it appears in your life, you must have invited it through your thought, emotion, or action, or it would not appear in your experience at all. This is a common thread in all Law of Attraction teachings, and psychologically, it bears some weight as well. How we experience everything that we experience depends greatly on our point of view of the experience.

The way in which someone practicing Ho'oponopono (which in Hawaiian means "to put to rights; to put in order, correct, amend, rectify") deals with this great responsibility actually involves forgiveness and acceptance. "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "I love you" and "Thank you" are expressions of these feelings, and are used extensively in the process. Hew Len is known as the psychologist who made such an impact on a hospital psych ward by saying things like "I'm sorry" and "I love you" that over time, patients began acting and feeling better, to the point where the ward itself was eventually shut down because so many patients had been released. And the truly amazing part of all this? He never visited the ward. He looked at patients' charts and records, and said the mantras TO HIMSELF, finding those parts of his own psyche that could relate to the patient he focused on. In healing himself, in other words, he healed the world around him. This is a true and documented story, and can be found here.
Ah, hard to see, the Dark Side is.
-Master Yoda
These last few weeks, I have been drawn into the Dark Side. My ego became strong, through arrogance, alcohol, and self-indulgence. Luckily, I noticed the change; my outside world became less tolerable, more aggravating. My "external forces" seemed to be turning against me, which put me on the defensive. And my own sense of self-awareness was quietly (as it only can) chiding me, "this is not who you are, you know...." Thankfully, I could still quiet my mind enough to hear it.

The ancients knew that the outside world reflects the one within, like a projection onto a screen. My world was reflecting a deeply negative image, which of course I had been creating, in my selfishness and arrogance. To heal, I must forgive myself.

This is a really hard thing for many people, including myself, to do. Forgiving others seems easy, but how many times have YOU said the words: "I'd never forgive myself if...?" Forgiveness does not mean forgetfulness. But it does require LETTING GO. I've never been good at that, personally. But it is one of the greatest things one can learn; when I have been able to fully release a thought or an emotion or even a physical thing or person from my life, my life has always instantly become more beautiful, more peaceful, and more promising.

So, to anyone I may have annoyed, offended, or angered these past few weeks, (whether you read this or not) I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. And much more importantly, to those of you who have annoyed, offended, or angered ME, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. And finally, to myself, who annoys and is annoyed, who offends and is offended, who angers and is angered, to myself I say, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

When I forgive myself, I become free to forgive others. When I love myself, I am free to love others. All are one. We are expressions of the One Being, manifesting as many individual beings. The Golden Rule is an attempt to show people this Truth by experience. Love one another as you would be loved, because you and the other are in fact, One. Whatsoever you do to the least of your brothers, you do TO YOURSELF. Jesus' teachings (among many others) point to this constantly, and to make it easier to understand and accept, they externalize the Oneness into the figurehead of God and/or Christ, because most people, trapped in ego identity, cannot comprehend the vastness of such an idea as collective Oneness. I myself forgot it while in the grip of my Inner Sith (my ego). But thankfully, it takes only a moment of awareness to make a shift.

Try to forgive yourself whenever you feel not-good. You'll be surprised at the result, if you succeed.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Father Knows Best, Should Know Better

Good morning.

I haven't written here in a while, because I haven't really felt very awakened lately. Things are getting better in my outer world, but my inner world is currently in turmoil.

I got a job, after nearly six months of unemployment, and it is better than I hoped for. It's very challenging for me, but I haven't been challenged in a job for a while, so it's welcome. My feelings about money have relaxed, and I'm getting more of it now; I haven't decided yet which came first (actually, I know my feeling changed before I even got the job).

On the day of the holiday of Father's Day this year, like most years, I did nothing but sit in solitary discomfort at the whole idea of Father's Day. I don't really understand it the way most people do. I have no image of "Father" on which to base the object of my paternal affection. Even my mother's dad, the greatest man I ever knew, could never be "Father;" he was already Papa. I have a father, though it has never quite felt like it.

Today, the Monday after Father's Day, a coworker asked me if my father was still alive; I said yes. He asked if I talked to him yesterday, I said no. He then said my name to me in a tone that spoke the unspoken meaning behind his use of it: "shame on you."

I knew, from past interactions with this person, (we've worked together before) that he had good reason to feel the way he did, and even to admonish me for not staying in touch with my dad; he's had some problems in the past getting his own kids to stay in touch with him. I get it. But I found myself getting increasingly distraught as the day went on. Not angry, only, though there was some of that. Nor was it mostly guilt, or even pain, but a combination of all kinds of negative emotions, all tied to various thoughts which all shared a common theme: my history (or lack thereof) with my father.

I won't get into very much detail in this medium; this is a weblog, not a diary. Suffice it to say, I've seen the man maybe a dozen times since I was 5 years old, and not a single one of those times was at his initiative; I have always had to invite him (in the cases of my graduations) or seek him out myself. I had other "father figures," but I never had much use for them as "dads".... I guess I couldn't bear to replace him, in spite of all that. But I did allow myself to love my stepfather as a dad when he came along. Then, I lost him, too. That story is too gruesome to tell.... Let's just say, I grew up real quick in high school (and I would have no trouble seeing Thestrals).

I reconnected with my dad a few years ago, but even that has not continued. I found out from him what his reason was for staying away: He knew my mother had it under control, and he felt that he would only get in the way by being around. If he only knew what good just being in my way would have done me. I do love my dad, just to be clear. And I forgive him his mistake. At the same time, he hasn't stopped making it.

So I let another Father's Day go by unobserved. I could have tried to contact my dad, but he hasn't got a phone, and it leaves me bitter to call the only other place I know he's likely to be or to get a message, the saloon. I wanted to tell my coworker all this, and so I did tell him this last fact. As soon as I did, I felt worse. I thought it would shut him up, and it did, but it did not help. The vicious spiral had begun.

I spent all day at my new job with my mind basically disengaged. Instead of focusing on work, I was unfocused, with the many various dad-related thoughts and the accompanying negative emotions that only served to keep them coming. Like, "I'm glad I never had kids, I don't know how I could ever be a good dad myself..." and, "I do know my dad's not going to be around forever, and I really SHOULD try to get hold of him...."

And my whole day got worse. I made a couple of mistakes I shouldn't have made. I got a huge, ugly mark on my pants, which I just washed yesterday. At lunch, every traffic light was red, even though all last week they were all green. Pretty much everything I saw today reflected my repugnant mood.

Then I came home and started writing this. My hope is that, with this venting, (and the EFT tapping I might do later) I can let this pain go, too. But you know, a big part of me is not ready to let it go. It's like it informs my identity. It's MY pain, I earned it. I know that's insane, but I know that it's part of my ego, and I will be ready to let it go soon. And either way, tomorrow will be better. At this moment, though? ...I don't know. I don't feel like it.

I really should know better.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Sun is Rising....

Good Morning!

If you have been following along with me on my journey of awakening so far, you may have noticed that the blog's background is no longer black, but a dark blue. It was a purposeful choice; that's what happens just before dawn.

After nearly 6 months of unemployment, I finally have a j-o-b. It's in a field that I enjoy, the hours are fine, and the benefits will be great. I'm happy.

But there is still a long way to go. My Shadow Self still likes to poke at me, feeding me doubts ...{{you can't handle this job}}...{{it's too much stress}}...{{you're gonna screw something up, just watch}}.... But that doesn't bother me. I recognize the voice now.

The Shadow Self, the Ego, the Opponent, the Pain Body, Satan, whatever you like to call it, always sounds the same. It tries to keep you from making change. Its greatest mission is to keep itself alive, and it does that by keeping you in darkness. It feeds on fear and doubt and pain. It withers and dies under the Light of Consciousness and Wakeful Presence, so it has developed terrific stealth skills; it will even make you believe it is YOU, so that you don't look too closely at it. It will make you think it's your best friend, whilst simultaneously sabotaging your life. It loves chaos, hatred, and dominance, and can manipulate its victims into doing almost anything, for the price of "pleasure," accompanied by pain and panic that it will never cop to. It is powerful, but not as powerful as Presence.

Wakeful, Mindful, Dutiful Presence, Non-judgmental, Loving Presence, is the only weapon we have against this Adversary, but thankfully, it is the only one we'll ever need. Presence immediately weakens it, creates space around it. It wants to isolate you; so, you must isolate it instead, secure in the knowledge that you are One with the Light, and that isolation is an illusion. The Shadow disappears when you shine the Light upon it.

We always have these two voices, and we always have the choice of which one to listen to. When you learn to recognize the difference between the voices, and to recognize which one is really YOU (it's Presence, if you hadn't figured that out by now) then you are one step closer to Waking Up!

The road is long. Let's keep moving.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT - Why I Know It Works

Good morning!

So, it was just a few days ago I was feeling really horrible. I'd been unemployed for five months, living with my mother, who had just finished venting her frustration with me for the last two hours. I felt worthless. I felt unworthy. I felt insignificant and undeserving of the relief I craved.

I was sitting alone on my bed, trying to feel, trying to cry, but I felt so rotten I couldn't even do that. It was the kind of self-loathing that cripples; it was as though my very soul had been severed.

I had read about EFT, and even messed around with it a little, but I didn't apply it on a regular basis, by any stretch. I decided I had nothing to lose by trying it in that moment. So I started tapping my hand, saying, "Even though I feel worthless, I accept myself." I went through the rest of the tapping procedure, really allowing myself to feel that unworthiness. When I was done, and I took one deep breath, my body - not me, I couldn't control it if I had tried - immediately began to WEEP. I cried for maybe a minute, maybe less, and then, I was done. I felt better, and I felt a little bit relieved.

The real miracle of EFT did not become obvious to me until a few days later. For I realized in a rush of understanding, that I not only did NOT feel worthless, I felt worthwhile. It felt like a new feeling, as though I had never felt that way before, and I really have to wonder if that's not absolutely true.

I know that the instant I stopped weeping, I had released all of the negative energy that I had held onto for so many years, that was causing me to feel unworthy and worthless. All that's left is a feeling of freedom and power, which has only grown since. I feel, in a word, HUMAN, for the first time in my life.

Now, I'm a tapping fool. Like they say, "Try it on everything." One of the best resources to learn more about EFT is You have nothing to lose except your pain.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My Own Worst Enemy

Good morning.

A sequoia lived for 400 years. It lived through 400 winters, 400 springs, 400 summers, and 400 autumns. Each season bombarded the great sequoia with rain, wind, lightning, heat, deathly cold, storms of every flavor. For 400 summers, it grew, and for each one of 400 winters, it slowed to almost death. Every spring, though, 400 times, it reawakened, to be clobbered again by the elements of nature. What finally killed the mighty tree? Beetles ate it from the inside.

Like the 400-year-old sequoia, Man can handle ANYTHING the external world hurls at him, but his vital weakness lies within himself.

My good friend Dana Lisenbee told me this parable today, because I needed desperately to hear it. The last few weeks have been, for me, a downward spiral into my own self-loathing. I thought I had licked it; I was mistaken.

Now, I am consciously using my mind to be aware of what it is doing to itself, and to me, as a whole person. I'm using EFT whenever I feel negativity creeping into my emotional matrix. The only way to get positive is to feel your way there. EFT helps transmute the negative feeling into something positive. Negative emotion becomes trapped in the body; by tapping on certain acupressure meridian points, and feeling the emotion fully, the body can literally let go of the trapped emotion and you can move on from there. It's a technique I've known about, and used a little, but I'm beginning at last to understand just how powerful it can be. (learn more about it:

Another cool thing happened today: I saw the movie Revolver (2005), with Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Andre Benjamin, and Vincent Pastore, written and directed by Guy Ritchie, produced by Luc Besson. It was exactly the film I needed to see today. It's ostensibly about chess and con games, but it's really all about the ego. But it goes roundabout the subject for 104 minutes of total mind-warping, violent confusion. I highly recommend it. You'll definitely have to see it at least twice.

The ego feeds--thrives, even--on negative emotion; in fact, it may even be fairly accurate to say that the trapped negativity is an ingredient or component of the ego itself. The ego is chaos incarnate, a constant adversary of the True Self. Its greatest trick is convincing you that it IS you. The ego is a shadow that thinks it is the light, wants to be the light so badly it hurts, but it can never be. It then uses the pain, makes you feel worthless, hopeless, helpless, until the light is almost invisible, and all seems to be the shadow. But there can be no shadow without light. You are the light; the shadow that is ego is not who you are. The pain is not who you are; you are Unselfish Love, which is the Source of All Light.

Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him. I'm feeling better today; the Force will guide me. All I can do is feel Better Now. Small moves. I can do it. I am worthy, and I do deserve it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Supper's Ready? Or, A Day Passed Over

Can't you feel our souls ignite?
Shedding ever changing colours
In the darkness of the fading night
Like the river joins the ocean
As the germ in a seed grows
We have finally been freed to get back home

There's an angel standing in the sun
And he's crying with a loud voice:
This is the supper of the mighty one
Lord of Lords
King of Kings
Has returned to lead his children home
To take them to the new Jerusalem
-Genesis, "Supper's Ready"
I have had this 23-minute epic song stuck in my head for the last two weeks, like a massive prog-rock earworm. So when the news came about the Last Supper being dated wrong, I found it more than apropos.

First of all, WHO CARES? A date 2000 years ago may have been wrong. Well, darn it, one day in 2000 years ain't a bad handicap, really. Especially considering the number of times that calendar has changed. Yet people do care, and those people won't like what I'm about to say.

The reason people care about this is, at some point after the stories were written, there were some who thought that the allegorical stories were literally true, even though they were obvious rewrites of other allegories, particularly those of Joshua from Exodus and the Persian Godman Mithras. Later, the government adopted the literal view, and volumes were written to support it, including out and out forgeries set amidst the rest of the stories, in order to fill in the gaps. After that, there was no hope left for the allegory. Wars based on the belief in the literal, historical "truth" of these allegories have ravaged the world for the last 15 centuries.

This isn't about debunking the myth. In fact, the very word "myth" has been perverted, in the interest of literalist dogma. Myth used to be powerful; it was poetry, with layers of truth laid one upon another. Now the word is synonymous with "falsehood." This is unfortunate, because there is nothing false about the myths in the Bible, except for historicity.

The Myths of the Ancient World were guideposts to the Ultimate Truth--that God is within each and every one of us--and through them, we can Awaken to that Truth Within. Taken literally, the mystical nature of this Truth is all but lost.

Awakening involves broadening the mind. Whether the stories of a man dying and returning to life are literally true or not (regardless of when they were written--in the case of Mithras, 200 years before Christ, and including many of the same events and motifs as the Jesus stories) there is no denying the stories' emotional and spiritual benefits. Millions of people have been inspired, with or without the significant allegorical symbolism.

...I guess my point is, instead of arguing over whether it's literally true, we ought to focus on how each of us connects to the stories in our own lives and hearts. The rest is just details.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

It's All About Soul

Soul is a feeling, feeling deep within
Soul is not the colour of your skin
Soul is the essence, essence from within
Soul is where everything begins
-Van Morrison
I've been doing some serious soul-searching of late. I do it regularly, about every seven years. I don't plan it that way, I've just noticed that it seems to be at that interval; interestingly, I have heard that the human body regenerates all of its cells in a seven-year cycle. So really, I guess it's like reprogramming the software for all new hardware.

I find "Soul" to be a curious word. Today, when we hear it, we mostly think of "Spirit," like the undying, infinite, eternal core part of us, our essence, which moves on when we die. But that's not what the ancients meant.

In ancient Greek manuscripts, including and especially those of the New Testament, the word that is variously translated as "Spirit" or "Breath" is defined as above, and the word is "Pneuma." (Breath, air, makes sense.) The word that English Bibles usually translate as "soul" is actually the Greek word "Psyche," and meant pretty much just what you'd think.

The ancients who took part in the Mysteries understood these words as two stages of conscious development: Psychic Initiates were those who identified with their minds, their thoughts and emotions, while Pneumatic Initiates held a broader perspective, identifying with their still, essential nature as Spirit. In myth, they are the lower and higher aspects of the goddess, Sophia (which means "wisdom"). In Christian texts, "Sacred Breath" is perhaps a better translation for what we now know as "holy spirit."

They each had an elemental baptism to them; Psychics were baptized in water, Pneumatics in air, or something related, like breath, or a kiss. Of course the other elements had baptisms, too: earth was for the Somatic (body) and the Gnostic (meaning "one who knows") initiation was a literal baptism by fire. In light of this, the many passages in the bible which talk about baptism make a bit more sense, e.g., Matthew 3:11. (Speaking of that verse, and of mistranslating Greek, the word usually translated as "repentance" is the Greek word "Metanoia," which means basically, "a change of mind;" and the Greek word "hamartia," usually translated as "sin," actually comes from archery, and means simply, "to miss the mark.")

So, at 35 years old, I have rejiggered my soul ("psyche") for the fifth time (once every seven years). In other words, I have been once again (as I have done four times before) reprogramming my Self to be the man I want to be. I have been immersed in water (the water, that is, of nous, or "mind") but the time will come when I am filled with Sacred Breath and fire.

And the good news ("gospel"): with the state of the collective human consciousness today, we don't need hard Initiations to rise to the next level; we can do it slowly, gradually, because those who came before paved the way, or forged the path, or burned the neural engram, or however you wish to look at it.

With time and training, we all can become Buddha ("Awakened")! It takes mindfulness, Right thinking and Right action, patience and humility. Simple enough, even if not necessarily easy.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Obstacles in the Road

Good morning!

The last couple of days, for me, have not been the greatest. At present status, I am still unemployed, my tax refund is almost gone, and the lower pitch emotions are stalking me, like vultures circling, diving in for the occasional test bite. Times like this, in the past, I've turned to drink. This time was no exception.

The problem with alcohol is that it only seems to help, and even then, its apparently positive effects are only temporary. A nice buzz can make me feel pretty good, for a minute. The next day, however, I invariably feel just as bad as before, and usually worse. And not just because of the hangover; I tend to hate myself for drinking at all, for spending money I don't have on a poison, and for being like certain of my family members and relying on the crutch of booze. All of this is, obviously, counterproductive thinking.

The truth is, beer is just a shock absorber. It helps a person get over the bumps in the road, to a point, but it does nothing to remove them. The problems that caused me to drink are still there, no matter how blind I choose to get.

An alternative tactic is required. The bumps in the road are still there; I need to remove them, or go around and past them, so I don't have to deal with them any more.

We call it "mindfulness."

In the present moment, there is no fear, no obstacle, no problem so great that it cannot be overcome. Those things belong to the future, or the past, both of which exist only in the mind. In the present moment, all the power of the Force That Creates Worlds is in your hands.

One of my heroes of mindfulness, Karen Bell ( posted a link today on Facebook that reminded me of what I was missing. At the core of mindfulness is peace. Mindfulness is being. Not being anything in particular, just, BEing. Thoughts do not affect Being. Emotions are comparative; Being IS. (The Jedi Code says, "There is no emotion; there is peace.")

In the end, it's about letting go. I have always had a hard time with that idea, but with mindful practice, I can do it. I will do it. I AM doing it. The present moment is about overcoming obstacles, by becoming what we are: free of obstacles. It's a hard road, but it's mine.

Here is the article KB posted. You may find it quite as useful as I did.

Monday, March 21, 2011

And The Battle Just Goes On And On....

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it...
-Ben Folds
Even after all I've studied and learned, I'm still fighting the battle between Good and Evil, Dark and Light, between Consciousness and Unconsciousness. Here's the thing: this is a battle that never ends. There can be no final victory. This is why the classic tales of Good v Evil never go out of style, and always resonate with us.

Every moment is a choice, except, choice implies Conscious action. For the most part, we are creatures of Unconscious habit. We don't bother to choose the thoughts we think, which would give us a great deal of control in what happens to us in our lives. Instead, we let our Subconscious mind run the show. Like an airplane on automatic pilot, we can make slight adjustments here or there, but we always end up going in the basic direction our subconscious autopilot program takes us. What's required, if we wish to truly change direction, is to reprogram the automatic pilot.

The subconscious mind is not for or against anything; it is absolutely neutral, and only runs the programs we have given it to run. These programs are designed to keep us moving in the direction of our beliefs. When we have a thought that runs contrary to our deeply held beliefs, the subconscious mind is designed to dismiss it, or even to rally against it. But, as Abe-Hicks says, a belief is only a thought you keep thinking. The more you think a thought, the more it "solidifies" into a belief, and becomes part of the program of the subconscious.

Then there are those thoughts which resonate within us on a much higher level. Things like, "We are limitless beings," or "We create our own reality," are the kind of thoughts that we may or may not consciously believe, but regardless, we feel the truth of them on some level. Our Higher Self knows that these things are absolutely true, but the Lower Self, which includes the Ego and the Subconscious mind, may have created programs which negate the Truth for our life experience. There is nothing inherently bad, or good, about it; it is just the way it IS.

If we want things in our lives to change, we must first change the programming of our Lower Self. To do this is to engage in an epic battle, a jihad (in the actual sense of the word), an unending struggle, between the Forces of Consciousness and the Forces of Habit in our lives. We have to fight against the beliefs we hold that hold us apart from what we want. ...Okay, "fight" isn't really the right word here. What we resist persists, and fighting a belief will only serve to strengthen it. Remember, a belief is only a thought you keep thinking, so, to change a belief, while tricky, all you have to do is think, think, and continue to think, different thoughts that align with your Conscious desires. By displacement, the new belief will eventually oust the old belief, and the reflection in reality will be felt immediately thereafter. In short, as Master Yoda said, we must unlearn what we have learned.

And so, the battle rages on. And I aim to unlearn the beliefs I have accumulated that are making me and keeping me miserable, such as:
-I don't like spending money
-I never have enough money
-Nobody ever sticks around for me
-Maybe I'll never find the right person for me
-I hate this or that
-My body is falling apart
-There is limitation and lack all around me
-I'm not qualified for any of the jobs I see
-Life is hard

Instead, I aim to displace them with positive, high-vibration beliefs, by repeating them consciously, again and again, every day, as often as possible. Things like:
-It is fun to spend money
-Money flows to me easily and freely
-People enjoy being around me, and I enjoy them
-The right person for me is out there somewhere
-This or that which I don't like is okay because it lets me know what I do like
-My body is designed to heal itself
-The Universe is abundant and limitless, and so am I
-I have many skills and talents I can use in the workplace
-Life is easy

Life SHOULD be easy; I consciously realized this fact at age 9, when I noticed that some people really did have it easy. Even though my whole life had been underscored by the belief, passed down from my mother, that life was hard, I could see that wasn't true for everyone. Some people could make ease their truth. Why couldn't ease be true for me, as well?

Why can't it be true for you? What beliefs are holding you back from an easy life? How will you "change your mind" about them? Until you do, the autopilot will always bring you back to your subconscious "comfort zone." ...Believe that.
You have to let it all go, Neo: Fear, Doubt and Disbelief. Free Your Mind.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Read/Seen Any Good Books/Movies Lately?

Good morning!

I'd like to take some time to share a book I just read. It's called Beyond Positive Thinking (Formerly "The Advanced Formula for Total Success") by Dr. Robert Anthony. It had a lot of information I already knew, but it was presented in such a way that I understood more about the mechanism of it, how it really works, which is kinda my thing. I'm a huge fan of theory and reverse engineering. How and Why.

If you haven't clicked on that link yet, you're putting off doing an enormous favor to yourself. What I really loved about it was that its structure was exactly what I believed it should be, which is to take you through the four Essential Universal Laws in reverse. It is written, in other words, as "The Way Up."

The four Essential Universal Laws are these:
- The Law of One ~ E=mc^2 / All is One
- The Law of Octaves (Hermetic Law) ~ As Above, So Below
- The Law of Attraction ~ That Which Is Like Unto Itself Is Drawn
- The Law of Causality (or Karma) ~ Every Action Has An Equal And Complementary Reaction

In this order, they are "The Way Down," because it is in this order that the Fall of Man took place. In short: we came from the One, recognized the duality of the world, attracted ourselves into the world, and are now bound by its Karma. Dr. Robert Anthony takes you one step at a time through a process of deliberate creation. This book raises vibration.

Books like this make me want to shout about the Common Thread from the rooftop. It reminds me of all of the great Common Thread stories out there. Sure, we can look in the obvious places: the Bible, teachings of Buddha, the Gita, Plato, etc. But there are other, newer parables set to teach this process: The Star Wars saga is one. So is The Matrix trilogy -- in fact, put together, all of the movies thus far produced by the Wachowski siblings carry the ancient mathematical code of the Common Thread. Believe it or not, the Harold and Kumar movies actually follow the formula of the Common Thread.

If you're still wondering, what's the Common Thread, here is what to look for:
-Examples of the Essential Universal Laws in action
-Ultimate triumph of Unselfish Love
-Lessons in adjusting mindset for success or failure - i.e., Raising Vibration

...that's basically it. Why haven't you clicked that link yet?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Fear and (Self-)Loathing in My Own Mind

Vivir con miedo es como vivir en medias. ~ "A life lived in fear is a life half lived." -Spanish proverb, quoted by Baz Luhrmann, "Strictly Ballroom"

Ten years ago, the bottom fell out of the world. Due to the heinous actions of religious extremists (or government plotters, depending on whom you choose to believe) the spirit of humanity was bruised. The economy plummeted; I was laid off from possibly the best-suited job I ever had. Not long afterward, a neighbor physically attacked me in my own apartment building. From that point on, I lived my life in fear, and I hated myself for it. I've never had high self-esteem, but it got so much worse after all that happened.

Strange how life goes on, whether you like it or not. I have spent the last ten years walking around like a zombie, too afraid to feel anything, or to get too close to anyone. I didn't want anyone to see how much I despised Me, because they might see and hate me too. And of course, they did, in a way. I lost several relationships that might have been good for me, because I could not love myself as much as I loved the other person.

Oprah likes to say, "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." That is true, but never so much as when you actually forgive yourself. Nothing can change about where you are, until you accept where you are.

EFT has been extremely useful to me to help me figure this lesson out. One of the primary components of EFT is the repetition of the phrase "I deeply and completely accept myself." Like any affirmation, if you say it enough, you'll start to believe it.

I've been letting my subconscious mind run amok with my Creation, as most people do, and it hasn't been good for me. But here's the good news: the principle of displacement works with the subconscious. If you put a glass of dirty water under a stream of clean water, eventually, the glass will be full of clean water, because the clean water will displace the dirty. If you consistently feed positive thoughts into your subconscious with conscious self-talk, the negative will eventually turn positive. And a subconscious mind full of positive thoughts will help you create your desires in your life experience.

In life, every single moment is a choice, except for two things: we have no choice but to die, someday, and, we have no choice but to live until that day comes. Meanwhile, our subconscious takes care of us, making sure we keep breathing and pumping blood and all that, but it also builds our world, and imprisons us, if we let it. I'm busting out. I'm literally changing my mind. I deeply and completely accept myself. Warts and all. Yes, even the Darkness. Stepping into the Light requires courage; I've had my fill of fear.


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Polarity, One of Life's Great Secrets

The physical world is built upon the foundation of duality: yin and yang, dark and light, in and out, left and right. Energy flows in one direction, but there must be two points for there to be a flow in the first place. That flow is what drives the process of Creation, and we are either going with the flow, or against it, at any given time.

We are like batteries, with a positive pole and a negative pole. Creative Energy flows through us, from the positive to the negative, just like an electrical current. And, like the atom, our positive pole is at the center, our negative pole outside us. Positive Energy -- Love, Joy, Gratitude -- flows outward from the center of us; Negative Energy -- Fear, Anger, Grief -- flows inward, against the natural flow. This is also called, "resistance," because that condition resists the natural flow of Pure Positive Energy from Source.

I got to thinking about this today, because I know my resistance to my desires is great right now. And I realized that all energy must follow similar laws. So, when talking about resistance, Ohm's Law should apply.


"I" is current, "V" stands for voltage, and "R" equals resistance. This law, applied to electrical circuits, demonstrates how freely current flows. In plainer English, Current is directly proportional to voltage, and inversely proportional to resistance. The higher the voltage (or potential), the greater the current, but, the greater the resistance, the current flow decreases.

Applying Ohm's Law to the Creative Force, reads thus: The Creative power of Thought is in direct proportion to the intensity of the Emotion behind it, and inversely proportional to the self's resistance.

In electrical models, the Law normally assumes resistance as a constant, but it is not. That is just a practical concession. All three are variable, depending on the situation. So it is with Creative Energy. But there is one thing that is constant: the current, or the natural flow of energy, always goes in one direction.

Resisting the natural flow, through negative thinking and feelings, is like putting your batteries in backwards. The Force flows through you, from the inside out. When you resist the flow, you are in "Dark Side mode." Anger, Fear, Aggression... These resist the Natural Flow of the Force that Creates Worlds.

One other thing the application of Ohm's Law to Creative Energy suggests: the more intensely you feel, the faster you create. If you feel very happy, or very sad, you will see the subject of your thought reflected in your life experience faster than if you only felt a little happy, or a little sad.

So, release resistance, and get excited, and your dreams will come true. It is Law.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Emotional Chemistry

Good Morning!

How are thought and emotion connected? They are; they must be. Certain thoughts make me feel a certain way, depending on their direction and polarity. In other words, good thoughts feel good, bad thoughts feel bad. The more I think thoughts of lack, or worry, or loss, the worse I feel. The more I think thoughts of abundance, or appreciation, the better I feel. This is obvious.

By now, I have done enough research to understand that the chemicals in my brain are not in the same balance as in "normal" people's. When I feel depressed, there is likely more dopamine than serotonin bathing my brain cells. Emotion and brain chemistry must also be linked. One clearly affects the other. The question is, which is the cause, and which is the effect? Or are they mutually affected--one changes, so must the other?

If the physical situation is the cause of the mental/emotional situation, then pharmaceutical remedies should work. But, if you notice, the drug business hasn't made healthcare that much better. Every day, drug commercials air on public media, and the side effects usually outnumber the intended effects of the drug. And the number of times the words "death," "fatal," or "life-threatening" are listed among those side effects seems to be on the rise, as well. Every day, dozens of law firms advertise dozens of class action suits you can get in on, if you have taken some specific medication and gotten somehow sicker. For all the people pharmaceutical medicine does help, it does not help them all, so, chemistry cannot be the cause.

I find that it is not always easy to change the way I feel by psychological methods. And it's harder when the feeling is strong, or extended over time. In other words, if I have been feeling a certain way for a while, it's like I'm stuck there. Drugs can help this, true, but, add that to the cycle, and it becomes like a crutch; without the drugs, the emotions go haywire, which means the chemicals are going haywire, which means, now the added chemistry of the drugs has become essential to the mix.

I find that distasteful, and unacceptable.

I, as a Conscious Human Being, should be able to direct my own emotions, should I not? I should be able to direct my thoughts in a positive way, thereby exciting the chemical bath of my brain to a better balance, and raising my emotional status. ..."Should." So why is it so hard? Clearly, the mental/emotional side is not the cause, either.

In order to raise my vibrational frequency (the better the feeling, the higher the frequency; we'll come back to that in a later blog) I need to focus on both sides of the equation. Spirit, and Body. There are methods, such as EFT and yoga, which can help with this, and I have been using them, but maybe less than I could. Time to step things up, I suppose.

In short, physical health and mental/emotional health are not separate things, and they should not be treated as such. Feeling better literally means everything.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Meeting the Man in the Mirror - Part 2

As I gaze into the mirror, I have to wonder: which side am I on? Which of these two Annaërullos is me? Obviously, it's the one who goes about his day when there is no mirror around. But how do I know that other one isn't thinking the same thing?

We do live in a world that is mainly illusion, a recursive image, like when two mirrors face each other. The face in the mirror is a representation of my physical face, just as my physical face is a representation of my true self. I Am no more this physical body than I Am my thoughts and emotions.

Eckhart Tolle describes his awakening experience as the moment when he said, "I just cannot live with myself anymore." Then came the realization, Who is the "I," and who is the "self" I cannot live with? There must be two! As the Light of Consciousness shone on him in that moment, his "shadow self" disappeared, and he was left with the bliss of Silence. Tolle calls this "shadow self" Ego. Ego is the Glass through which we view and interact with the world. In many myths, it is referred to as "the veil." Fiona Apple has a great song in which she describes it as the "Window." It is the "Selfish Self," the personality we create. It is the story we tell to give ourselves identity. It is the system of past thoughts and emotions which clings to you, and keeps you thinking and feeling the same things over and over again. It's the "Blue Pill," and "many of [us] are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that [we] will fight to protect it."
(-Morpheus, The Matrix)

The Ego wants to live. It lives to feed. It feeds on negative emotion, delusions of grandeur, and strong opinions. It creates and feeds on these like a demon; it's no wonder the Hebrews called it "Ha-satan," which means "adversary," but you get the picture. The classical "Devil" is a symbol of the Ego. The Devil really does live in all of us. But so does the Divine Presence. Tapping into that Presence is not easy for everyone, but it IS possible, for everyone. All it takes is quieting the mental and emotional "noise" of the Ego. "My story" is my Ego attempting to stay alive.

All it takes, ultimately, is telling a different story.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Meeting the Man in the Mirror

"If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change." -Michael Jackson

Good Morning!

(In my last post, I used a Bible verse to support my point. I'll use a lot of different sources to that end; I'll use anything from the Quran to Michael Jackson. From the Vedas to Malcolm X. Anyone who supports my point, I'll be happy to quote. Fair warning.)

Who is the (Wo)Man in the mirror? If you have never looked into the mirror and asked that question, then you have not yet fully lived. You have not yet really been awake. It is one of the most important of all questions: Who Am I?

Am I the thoughts I think? Am I the feelings I feel?


I Am the thinker; I Am the experiencer.

When I have a thought, it is within my experience that the thought exists. But, let me put it another way: When I hear music, it arises out of silence. Without the silence, there can be no music.

Most of us go through life thinking we are the music. But in fact, we are not the song; we are not even the singer. We are the silence. Thoughts arise out of that self-same silence. Without the silence there is only cacophony, chaos. This condition is also called "madness."

The guy in my mirror quietly stares back at me. Is he quietly judging me? No, that's just me. I'm the one doing all that. That is to say, I am allowing those kinds of thoughts to come forth. My job now is to shift the focus of my attention from the stream of negative thoughts and emotions, to the silence.

Then, from the platform of silence, new and emotionally better thoughts can arise.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Life Inside the Looking-Glass

"For now we see through a glass darkly, then face to face: now I know in part, then I shall know even as also I am known." -1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV

As I start this weblog, I am in a relatively low place, vibrationally. I lost my job shortly before Christmas, I live at home with my parents at 35 years old, and my love life is basically non-existent. I am donating plasma just for an income of some kind, and a lack of my desires dominates my attention. I am looking at my life as though it is a dim image in a foggy mirror.

The truth is, most of us look at our lives in this way. For most people, life "happens" to them, and they respond with emotional reaction. But life does not have to be this way. We can clear the fog that makes the glass dark, a little at a time, or all at once; the gradual way is easier, but it does take time.

Paul spoke of seeing "face to face;" he meant just what I'm talking about here. He was talking about the quicker, more difficult way of Initiation, I am certain, but the image that he was talking about meeting "face to face" is the "real" person inside us all... The True Inner Being which is in constant contact with, and IS, the Divine Presence. Paul wanted to convey the idea that life as we usually see it is but a pale reflection of the underlying reality of Spirit.

So begins my journey. I am starting near the bottom, but all that means is, there is nowhere to go but UP. When I can look at the positive aspects of everything in my life experience, when I can stop resisting the flow of Well-Being that my physical body conducts naturally, when I can allow myself to accept myself with Unselfish Love, then I will see my Creator face to face, and see that I Am he, and He is Me, and We Know and are Known.

And so, Life is Good, despite all appearance to the contrary. Here we go.

Good morning!

Welcome to my weblog. My given name is Matthew T Aimone, and I am a seeker. I have sought answers to all kinds of questions, great and small, my entire life; my favorite questions have always been "How?" and "Why?" I'll most likely repeat them and delve into answering them a lot here on my new blog, titled, "Annaërullo Awakening."

For instance, "Why such a funny title?" Well, you see, I'm kind of a geek. My favorite movies are Star Wars and The Matrix. My favorite book is The Lord of the Rings, and language fascinates me; so, I broke down my name (Matthew) into its original meaning ("gift from god") and translated that into Quenya, the language of the Elves in Tolkien's earliest stories of Middle-earth. "Anna" means gift; "Eru" is the name he gives the One. "-llo" is the conjugated suffix for motion from, hence, "Annaërullo," where the diaresis (umlaut) indicates a separate vowel sound (no diphthong); also, it looks pretty. The diaresis also adds to a "crown-like" aspect of the visual aesthetic of the word itself, which alludes to the king-in-exile aspect of my favorite character in LotR, Aragorn.

Okay, nerd, but why "Awakening?" As I said, I am a seeker. I've been tracking down what I call the "Common Thread" of all religions and philosophies for the last several years. That Common Thread is not so much a teaching as it is a process, of emerging from the sleep of everyday life into an awakened presence.

This blog is meant to share my experience of that process with whomever finds it of interest. So I hope you stay tuned. I'm looking forward to the journey!